Loving to Distraction

They've become our mates, partners, children, even counselors. But what's that doing to us - and them?

A woman squats anxiously next to her German shepherd on the TV show Pet Psychic, cooing to him that all will be well. The dog, overweight and lethargic, licks her hand, and drops his head in her lap.

The pair is waiting for help in the form of Sonya Fitzpatrick, a psychic, or animal communicator, who will come to speak with the dog to discover the secret his person is desperate to uncover. The dog has been limping. Trips to the vet, a course of arthritis medication, x-rays - all have been unsuccessful in curing him. He still hobbles and it's getting worse. Now he barely stands, can only tolerate the shortest of walks, and spends most of his time sleeping and being gently, endlessly caressed.

His person becomes teary as she relates his condition to the psychic. He is, she reveals, the love of her life, and she couldn't bear it if something happened to him. Fitzpatrick silently communes with the canine. The dog, it seems, is not injured or sick. He's simply very clever. He noticed how another pet in the household with a sore foot received buckets of attention, and decided he would like a little extra TLC.

What began in tears ends with person and psychic both assuring the dog that he doesn't have to pretend anymore. He'll get all the love he needs.

Out of the doghouse and into the bedroom

Whether or not you believe in animal psychics, animal communication, or dogs that fake injury to garner an extra dose of affection, the scene is illustrative of how we've come to feel about our canines. They've been out of the doghouse and into the bedroom for decades now, ensconced as bona fide members of the family. But increasingly they're becoming even more than that - surrogates for family and friends. They're spouses - even therapists - and living, breathing security blankets.

Sociologists, psychiatrists, animal and human behaviorists, dog trainers and journalists who simply observe the world around them are all beginning to recognize this phenomenon. And they question whether thrusting man's best friend into the role of partner, child, father confessor, or emotional caregiver is really the best thing for either party in the relationship.

"Dogs don't disappoint," explains Dr. Joel Gavriele-Gold. The renowned psychologist and author of When Pets Come Between Partners, Gavriele-Gold's specialty is working with people whose emotional scars manifest through their interactions with animals.

"Dogs can provide a relationship where you can feel loved without having to expend the attention and concern that you do in an adult human relationship. Dogs don't get their feelings hurt if you say, 'I need to concentrate on what I'm doing right now.' They don't walk away and not talk to you for two hours. You don't have to worry about the other person's feelings, their emotional response to things.

"People will do anything not to feel disappointment, to avoid being hurt. Life can be really painful, and after something shattering happens in a relationship, we will do anything to avoid feeling that way again. So a dog can be the perfect alternative to a relationship. I see it over and over in my practice."

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