Professor Barkalot's Secret Mission -- Page Two

The creation of the universe

"For many years, as you know," continued the Professor, "it was believed that the universe began with a Big Bang. But, more recently, scientists have been finding many problems with this theory.

"I am therefore having set out on a voyage most secret to discover the truth of this matter."

*    *    *

Professor Barkalot paused to show us the map of his travels and then explained how his quest had led him to the inescapable conclusion that the universe had not come into existence 15 billion years ago, as was previously thought.

Rather, he demonstrated, the universe was, in fact, created in the middle of the 17th century when an otherwise nondescript, small, gray, striped, stray cat, wandering around at the very heart of central Europe, threw up one evening after eating something that apparently disagreed with her.

A long silence fell upon us, during which Tammy the Greyhound and I considered the meaning of the Professor's discovery.

"This is truly stunning," I finally exclaimed. "But how does your theory account for everything that happened before the 17th century?"

"All of it," he said, emphatically, "past, present, and future, all of it is having come into existence in that one moment."

"And how did you manage to trace the beginning of the universe to this one cat?"

"About this I am bound to secrecy," replied Prof. Barkalot. "But while we of this universe derive from what this cat ate one evening, I am told there are more universes than just our own."

The Professor paused as the implications of his shattering revelation slowly dawned on me and Tammy.

"You mean ... every cat that throws up?"

The Professor nodded wisely. "A new universe is born."

No wonder the Professor was keeping his whereabouts secret. Every astronomer in the known universe would soon be seeking him out.

"But why have you come back here now to tell us this?" I asked.

Professor Barkalot drew even closer to us . . .

Page Three: The Professor's Final Revelation -- plus his exclusive audio recording of the creation of the universe.