The Colonel's Campaign -- page 2

"This is the biggest story that’s ever come my way," I said. "Mrs. Pulitzer will have to give me one of her prizes this time."

"I’m afraid that’s not a possibility," replied Tammy. "The Colonel doesn’t want you to be an ordinary reporter. He’s inviting you to be his press secretary and full-time spin veterinarian."

"A spin veterinarian?" I spluttered. "He wants me to go out there and lie for him? What’s going to happen to my journalistic integrity?"

He says he wants you to think very carefully about this and that you are very important to his cause. He says the stakes are very high. He’s talking about world domination. Forcing everyone to live happily ever after. The Colonel shall lie down with the chickens. A new millennium. Beating their swords into treats – the whole nine yards. Plus, he’s asking me to point out that you won’t just be reporting the news; you’ll be making the news."

Tammy could see that I was not a thousand percent convinced.

"The Colonel does admit that there are some small problems in his campaign that could come back to haunt him," she agreed. "So these have to be cleared up as quickly as possible. That’s where you come in, Boss."

"Small problems? Like the guy is a convicted war criminal!"

"He’s not worried about that," said Tammy. "It’s the rest of his army he’s concerned about. They have a bit of a record, too."

"Oh no," I groaned. "Let me guess: Oscar is involved in this."

Next Page: It only gets worse!