The Colonel's Campaign -- page 4

"Kelly? His Secretary of Living- Happily- Ever- After?" I spluttered.

This was too much. Kelly came from Minnesota and can’t even be placed in a home herself, let alone arrange for anyone else to live happily ever after. Last time she went out on an Adoption Day, she managed to embarrass her entire entourage by screaming, hissing, and lashing out at everyone who even looked at her.

"How am I supposed to explain that away?" I moaned.

Tammy thought about this for a minute. "You could try a line like: Kelly didn’t understand that shopping for a new family meant having to go to a mall. She thought she could buy a new family in a catalog or by watching Home Shopping on TV."

We both thought about this and even Tammy had to agree that only a few people would find this explanation very convincing.

"There’s one more," she continued. "The Colonel says he wants C.C. to be his Minister of Recreation and Fun."

This was the final straw. "C.C." stands for Cemetery Cat. This charming feral kitty, who used to enjoy hanging out at a cemetery in San Francisco, was brought to Best Friends after the people who "rescued" her realized that her idea of fun was likely to end up with all of them in the cemetery!

Tammy was, however, right in advising me to join the Colonel’s army. Since no one has ever defied the Colonel and won, I have sacrificed my career and joined his campaign – at least temporarily.

Meanwhile, if peace breaks out in your neighborhood, take my advice and don’t try to fight it. It means the Colonel is advancing and he has enlisted your kitties, too.

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