Make Mike a Member
September, 2003
There are more Michaels than anyone else in this country. So how come they don’t even make it into the Top 20 list of Best Friends members?
In fact, Michael doesn’t even make it into the Top Thirty. He comes in 31st on a list of most frequent names of Best Friends members. And even among males, he ranks a poor seventh, behind John, Robert, James, William, Richard, and David.
And you boys have some catching up to do, just generally. John, who’s number one among the guys, only comes in seventh on the overall list – behind six ladies.
Top of
the list is Mary. Congratulations to all 4,883 of you Marys. You’ve
shot ahead of Linda, who was top of the list 10 years ago.
Another big surprise is that Lisa, who came in fifth 10 years ago, has dropped to 17th.
And Kathy, Jennifer, Michelle, and Pat have dropped off the list altogether. (Michelle has gone from 12th to 44th.)
But a couple of guys have at least clawed their way into the Top 10. The highest a boy got 10 years ago was John in 11th place. Now he’s seventh.
Here’s the whole Top 20 List, along with the list from 10 years ago.
Today’s Rankings 10
Years Ago (actual figures not available)
1. Mary 4,883 Linda
2. Barbara 3,614 Susan
3. Linda 3,281 Mary
4. Susan 3,125 Barbara
5. Patricia 2,839 Lisa
6. Nancy 2,751 Karen
7. John 2,613 Nancy
8. Carol 2,516 Carol
9. Robert 2,431 Kathy
10. Karen 2,243 Jennifer
11. Joan 1,691 John
12. Elizabeth 1,670 Michelle
13. Donna 1,592 Pat
14. Diane 1,565 Judy
15. Margaret 1,524 Kim
16. James 1,523 Sharon
17. Lisa 1,520 David
18. William 1,480 Chris
19. Dorothy 1,407 Donna
20. Sharon 1,394 Julie
Mary equals Mary Sue, but not Marysue
Now, before you statisticians get your fur in a fluff, all this has to be
taken with a pinch of catnip. Just for starters, the Marys include the Mary
Sues and the Mary Anns (the computer boys only looked for first names), but
then again the Mary Anns (or Mary Annes) don’t include the Marysues or
Mariannes.
Making things more complicated is that some of you are joint members, so you’re listed as, say, “Susan and Joe Catlover,” which would come out as Susan, or as “Joe and Susan,” which would come out as Joe. Or Susan may simply be signing up on behalf of Joe, who considers himself a member, too.
(Hey, folks, don’t get upset. This is an animal sanctuary, not the Social Security Administration!)
But none of this excuses Michael from coming in 31st – especially when he reigns supreme as the most popular name in America.
Where Michael reigns supreme
Speaking of which, how
does the Best Friends list compare to the population at large?
It’s difficult to say. The government keeps a list of babies born each year. So you can tell exactly what names people are giving their kids in any given year, but not how many of each name there are alive at any given time. So here’s how the new baby names average out over the last 12 years:
Boys Girls
Michael
Emily
Matthew Ashley
Joshua Jessica
Christopher Sarah
Jacob Samantha
Andrew Hannah
Daniel Elizabeth
Nicholas Taylor
Joseph Amanda
David Brittany
John Kayla
Ryan Lauren
Tyler Nicole
James Stephanie
Brandon Megan
William Rachel
Anthony Jennifer
Zachary Victoria
Justin Alexis
Robert Courtney
... all the way down to Nikhil, Timmy, Stetson, Abdullah, and Samson at the bottom of the boys’ list, and Georgina, Yajaira, Kimberlee, and Nikole at the bottom of the girls’ list.
Hey, Zuzana! You’re the tops!
At the “bottom” of the Best Friends list, meanwhile, are 7,068 of you who
have unique names, from Aase, Abagail, and Abbasalo, through Elektra,
Halcyon, and Lovey, all the way to Zsu, Zsuzsanna, and Zuzana.
But such unique creativity should not be considered the “bottom” of anything. You folks are the tops with me.
Except that some of these, like Elektra and Lovey, look suspiciously like cat names. You’re not cheating and signing up as your pets, are you?
And, speaking of pets . . .
Cat and dog names
Max
Bear
Buddy
Bear
Smokey
OK, humans, time to get your attention off yourselves! What are the top names for pets, and how do they compare with the names of the animals here at Best Friends Animal Sanctuary?
There are dozens of different lists, all claiming to be the list. Some put Max at the top; others don’t even have Max in the Top 20; and some don’t even say whether they’re cats, dogs, or both.
But taking a look at several of them, here’s a possible Top 20:
1. Max 11. Coco
2. Maggie 12. Missy
3. Buddy 13. Bandit
4. Bear 14. Tiger
5. Smokey 15. Samantha
6. Shadow 16. Punkin
7. Molly 17. Patches
8. Bailey 18. Kitty
9. Jake 19. Nicky
10. Lady 20. Brandy
Animals at the sanctuary
Lucky
Lucky
Lucky
Patches
Simon
This is where it gets really complicated. Animals often come in with one name, get a new name here if we don’t think their old name does them justice, and then yet another new name when they’re adopted.
But there’s no doubt who’s the tops among Best Friends dogs. It’s Lucky all the way!
And here’s a rough Top 10 for Dogs and Cats:
Dogs
Cats
1. Lucky Patches
2. Sam Sammy
3. Lady Smokey
4. Max Alex
5. Maggie Boots
6. Buddy Simon
7. Molly Sweetie
8. Duke Frankie
9. Brandi Jade
10. Spot Tiger
And at the “bottom” of the list, dozens of individualists – from cats Abelard to Zydeco, and dogs Acorn to Zuess (can somebody not spell Zeus?).
Nowhere to be found, however, on the Best Friends cat list: Tomato. Go figure.
Make Mike a member
Once again, dear readers, I shall review this list in another 10 years, and
I expect to see Michael in the Top 10 next time.
So please get your Michaels to sign up. If you see someone up a tree rescuing a cat, check his name. If he’s a Michael, a Mike, or even a Mickey, get him to become a member of Best Friends. If he seems reticent, get him a gift membership for Christmas.
Let’s rally to the cause, get with the program, and Make Mike a Member.