Colonel Seen in Cosmic Campaign Conspiracy -- Page Two
Last
week, quite out of the blue, Professor Barkalot contacted my investigative
assistant, Tammy the Greyhound, and asked us to come to the same
rendez-vous where we met exactly two years ago. (That was when he revealed
to us the truth about the stray cat who created the universe while
wandering around in Eastern Europe one evening during the 17th Century.)
“I am recently returned,” he began, speaking in his mellifluous, Transylvanian accent, “from an expedition most remarkable to the constellations of the Zodiac.”
 The Cat's Paw Nebula, a.k.a. NGC 6334, in a recent photo on the NASA web site, taken by Jason Ware. |
The Professor looked remarkably fit after such a long journey as he pulled a photograph from his fur and handed it to Tammy.
“A cat’s paw!” she whispered, passing it to me.
The Professor beamed. “I am having come across this phenomenon while passing through the constellation of Scorpio. And I am believing that you will find it to be a match quite perfect with the pawprint of a certain cat in whom you are most interested.”
“The Colonel!” I exclaimed.
“No less,” affirmed the Professor. “The Colonel is being most agile in keeping you all wondering what he is planning in this country and on this planet. But I believe you will find that his ambitions lie somewhere else altogether.”
“A cosmic conspiracy?” I spluttered. “This will be the most incredible exposé. But what could he possibly be doing leaving paw prints out there in the galaxy?”
“I think I can answer that,” replied Tammy, sitting down and looking very wise. “We know that The Colonel’s promises of world peace are just a campaign ploy.
“We also know that he has established a global network of feral cats who live on the streets, as he himself once did. And we have reports that millions of house cats have also secretly joined the network to support The Colonel’s cause.
“In addition, we have reason to believe that once he has won the election and lulled the electorate into dreams of world peace, The Colonel plans to activate this network.
“What we have not known, however, is his true goal in all of this. So the question now is: What would The Colonel and his Gang, who have a perfectly comfortable barracks here at the WildCats Village, be looking for in the far reaches of space? And what is the purpose of their secret global cat network?”
Tammy paused and looked from me to the Professor.