Colonel Seen in Cosmic Campaign Conspiracy -- Page Four

Tammy and I sat in silence. The Professor’s analysis of The Colonel’s true intent was undeniable – its implications cosmic in scope.

“You think The Colonel and his Gang are really going to go ahead with this?” I asked Tammy.

“They have obviously never gotten over the insult of feral cats being denied their own constellation,” Tammy replied. “But the really big question is: How are they going to pay for such an enormous construction project during an election campaign?”

We both stared at each other, our mouths dropping, as the final piece of the puzzle fell into place. Soft money!

“So that’s why The Colonel is barely doing any campaigning, and spending no money on advertising,” I said. “His campaign funds are all being diverted into building a new constellation.”

“It’s the ultimate campaign finance scandal, Boss,” Tammy agreed. “I just wonder what he’s going to name it.”

“He’ll probably want to name it after himself,” I sniffed. “But the perfect name for a new cat constellation between Leo and Scorpio would obviously be Tomato.”