Tomato the Cat’s Summer Movie Reviews
July, 2002  Page 3

Kitty Wars – Attack of the Clones

Starring Benton, Benton, Benton, Benton, & Benton

This is the sequel to the prequel to the original Kittywars – the story of how Darth Benton, founder of Best Friends Kittyville and first Chairpurrson of the TLC Cat Club, came to wield his clubfoot against the Evil Empire. Or something like that.

Benton himself went over the Rainbow Bridge many years ago. And thousands of cats have come and gone since then. But the Powers That Be are always trying to reprise his career in an endless series of increasingly tired sequels that depend on over-ambitious cat rescues, high-tech spay/neuter effects, and over-the-top, happy-ending adoptions.

Now, in Attack of the Clones, an army of Benton lookalikes tries to seize control of Benton’s House.

First problem: The look-alikes don’t look very much alike, and certainly don’t behave like the grouchy old bore that Benton became when he was running the Empire here.

Second problem: If the movie is a prequel to Benton’s arrival, then Benton’s House wouldn’t even been built yet.

And the clones include Frodo (who belongs in a different movie); Cindy and Calvin, who were found living in the wall of a welding shop (is that really where they make clones?); Sammy, who likes to do his own thing (like drinking only from dripping taps, which is very un-clonelike); and Benu, who is too cute and cuddly to be remotely a clone of Darth Benton.

I say, skip this movie.

Next: Dogs in Black – 2

Spiderdog
Divine Secrets of the BaBa Sisterhood
Kitty Wars – Attack of the Clones
Dogs in Black – 2
Stuart Little – 2
Scoop, the Stallion of Angel Canyon
More Alien, Mutant, Monster Movies