"That's when there are supposed to be No More Homeless Pets," I said. "So are we starting an adoption center on Jupiter then?"

"It's much bigger than that, Boss," said Tammy. "The movie is really about the transformation of the whole human race into something better."

"That sounds like a serious movie," I agreed.

The story of the old movie
"In the story," Tammy continued, "it's the year 2001 and there's a Mysterious Black Object that's been sighted out near Jupiter. A team of scientists has organized a secret mission to see what it is. HAL goes with them. He's a three-year-old computer who is so clever he's really a life-form himself.

"Somewhere en route to Jupiter, HAL gets upset about the plan and decides not to cooperate. He keeps saying to the hero of the movie in a scary deadpan voice: 'I'm sorry, Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that.'

"HAL takes control of the ship and proceeds to kill off all the crew - except for Dave who fights him to the death and finally manages to switch him off.

Dave is transformed into a new kind of person who can come back to Earth and teach people to be nice to each other and to the animals.

"Then Dave steers the ship across to the Mysterious Black Object which turns out to be a cosmic gateway where Dave is transformed into a new kind of person who can come back to Earth and teach people to be nice to each other and to the animals. That's the beginning of the transformation of the human race and the end of movie.

Tammy sat down, looking very pleased with herself.

"So what's that got to do with us?" I asked

"Well, we've just taken in a dog called Hal," she explained. "So Hal can play HAL and you can be Dave and your new movie will be called 2001: A Spay Odyssey.

This was Tammy's best plan ever, so we got straight down to work.

Next: Tomato's re-make of the movie