No More Homeless Pets Forum
November 11, 2002

Burnout

Faith Maloney

Identifying and coping with symptoms of burnout with Faith Maloney, a founder and director of animal care at Best Friends Animal Sanctuary.

Introduction from Faith Maloney:

It is so easy to become completely overwhelmed by the numbers of animals needing our help. How can we, as one person, or one rescue organization, make a difference?

I know what that feeling feels like. Once you open yourself up to the problem, you can never close that door again and pretend that it doesn't exist.

So we have to find ways to cope, and it starts with our own head space, and being honest with ourselves about what we can and cannot do. Burnout often happens as a result of trying to take on more than we can handle, physically and emotionally.

This is what I had to do a few years ago when I became burned out. I am happy to talk with you and share some of the solutions that helped me and that may help you through this very difficult time.

Questions

I've reached burnout
New to animal control
Getting close to burnout and high frustration level
Determining your limits of animals you can take in
How can I have fun when animals are suffering?
How do I pull back when I am the leader?
Handling euthanasia
How do you care for your employees' emotional well-being?
Continuing after one heart-breaking experience
Responding to numerous requests in a healthy way
Anger at the public for surrendering animals
Handling people who threaten harm if you don't take the animal

I've reached burnout

Member's Question:

My husband is in the USAF and until June we were stationed in Germany for 2.5 yrs. We lived on the base there & saw stray cat after stray cat. It's hard to believe that military people could be so irresponsible and neglectful of their pets.

There is no doubt in my mind that pets (in particular, cats) were "dumped" on the base. We rescued 10 cats while we were there. Two ended up euthanized due to illness, we found homes for five and added three to our already two-cat household. We now have five cats and a new baby (which by the way was born 6 weeks premature).

Since my son's birth, I feel EXTREMELY overwhelmed and have feelings of regret (regret that I kept them all, not regret that I rescued them). Last fall (I was in my 1st trimester) my oldest female, Molly, began spraying in my house. In addition, my male tabby, Ty (2 yrs), became "blocked" and has what I believe to be chronic cystitis. We have been battling nothing but kitty problems this past year. I have another male, Jasper, that is VERY needy and requests our constant attention.

My husband and I realize we are in over our heads (my fault because I coerced him into taking on so much!) and have come to the decision to begin downsizing and not take in any more animals. Ty, due to his illness, will have to stay with us so we can get him better... but Molly and Jasper have to find a new home.

This is VERY hard for me and I feel like I have failed them. I know it is time though since I've begun to feel frustrated and impatient at times. I know they deserve a happy life... how do I let them go? I can't be alone in this process of letting go... Thanks for this forum and support! -April

Response from Faith Maloney:

Please don't beat yourself up. Life has changed for you and your husband, and what was fine before the baby, is not fine now.

Change happens to all of us. Even me! Recently I offered to foster a small, elderly, blind dog for the sanctuary, with a view to adopting her. It lasted less than 24 hours because in my present home, and with my current schedule I would have had to rebuild parts of the house for her safety, and be home all the time to watch that she didn't pee everywhere.

At one time neither of these things would have been a problem, but I had to realistic. It is not going to work now, so before I got mad at this poor wee thing, I returned her to the kennels and our Dogtown manager came up with the best solution. The dog currently lives in the large new laundry room at Dogtown Heights, which is all on one level, and the yard is all on one level too. She can be watched all day, and she has a safe bedroom and pee area for the night. And we are looking for a permanent home where she can be held in someone's arms a good part of the day.

What I have learnt over the years is that it is not healthy to fight these feelings. It sounds from your letter that you have some experience in placing animals, so that is what you should do. We have a manual with some good tips if you need a refresher.

If you are feeling a lot of stress around the cats, then they will reflect that with bad behavior, and as you say, that is already happening.

Perhaps you can work with a no-kill agency in your area for help in placing the cats?

Feeling guilty is not a productive emotion. Just know that at this point in time you have taken on too much and you need to reduce the number of animals in your household for the sake of everyone in it, humans and animals.

Remember all of the lives you have saved over the years, and will be able to do in the future. But for now, you need to address the concerns of your whole family. Speaking as a mom too - my youngest daughter will be 31 in a week - time flies.

New to animal control

Member's Question:

I haven't been doing this long but so far so good. I enjoy helping the animals. Though I don't feel the burn-out yet, I'm sure it's there, lurking on the edge. I get angry at some of the public who don't take us seriously, or who bring in healthy and not so healthy animals or who can't understand why we have to euthanize.

Some people don't care that their animal has been hit by a car, don't care to license or obey the laws. The laws are there for a reason. They think I'm just "out to get them." I'm not, I'm out there for the animals and to try and educate the people.

Do you have any suggestions to keep from getting angry, or burnt out or better yet, to get the public to understand? I want to keep my "gung-ho" feeling! I would like to eventually try and change the way the laws are written here. Any and all help would be appreciated here! Thank you!

Response from Faith Maloney:

I think the indifference and not caring was what used to get me so much too. Some people just don't realize that animals feel pain and rejection. Usually those people are not having much fun in their own lives either, and their attitude towards animals is how they feel about life in general, including their children.

I'm glad that you are not currently experiencing burnout, and hope that you take care of yourself as you move along in your animal work.

If you can, take some time to help people understand more about animal behavior, because even if they are surrendering this animal to you, they are going to getting another dog or cat somewhere down the road.

I would avoid "lecturing" people as it doesn't work. Believe me I have tried it! Try more of a friendly approach, or even better show them by example how an animal should be treated.

Keep up the good work, and we want to see you around for many years.

Getting close to burnout and high frustration level

Member question:

Getting close to burnout and high frustration level. Possibly due to the summer fires in Colorado and the severe drought and economy...we have been trying our best to care for way too many animals...and getting several calls every day to take in more.

Few and far between donations, hard to keep dedicated volunteers who want to do the grunt work (chores, fundraising, repairs) and not just ride or brush animals..or the good natured kids that we end up babysitting while they volunteer. Even harder when it is cold and snowing.

Problem: trying to work full time and run rescue. Problem: every day I get calls from folks who want to surrender their animals (mostly older, ill horses) because they can't afford to feed them or they are crippled, etc.. We are so overwhelmed right now that for the first time we had to say we are really full...and we are also in the process of a horse seizure for several horses that are each 300 lbs. underweight.

No budget, no donations and my personal credit cards are maxed. I will eat macaroni and cheese and currently even rent rooms in my house to be sure that the animals have the good stuff. I love doing rescue... but these calls are getting more frequent.. and when we tell them we are really struggling then they say they are going to put the animal to sleep and it's my fault???

The other big rescues in Colorado with money are full too (for some unknown reason) and send the calls to us. I am sure that the calls will increase as the snow comes. Really need some help around here. www.hcfrescue.com. Thanks for listening.

Response from Faith Maloney:

I am amazed at that statement that it's all your fault if those people have to put their animals down! That one takes the cake. It is amazing what some people will do or say when their backs are up against the wall, isn't it?

It sounds to me that you and your group are doing wonderful work. Do you have a newsletter? It sounds to me that if people heard about what you are doing they would respond with donations of money and goods. I know that sometimes it's hard to look at what you are doing when you are right in the middle of doing it!

Might one of your group write up some of the stories of your rescues either for a newsletter, or for local media outlets? Once the words gets out, you might find more help out there than you seeing right now.

You have a lot to be proud of.

Determining your limits of animals you can take in

Member question:

I find that I have trouble putting limits on the number of foster animals to allow into my house. I don't know when I actually used my bathroom for anything other than a cat room! How do you know when to put limits on yourself and not try to squeeze one more animal in? Can you suggest any guidelines?

Response from Faith Maloney:

Good question. And a hard question. How many is too many? For some people that can be three animals, for another person twenty is fine.

You need to ask and answer some questions.

1) How many animals can I adequately support financially? Food, litter, medical care, etc.
2) Do I have enough time in the day to keep the place really clean?
3) Is my having foster animals in my home affecting other members of my household? These can be humans or other animals.
4) Am I able to have friends and family over to my house?
5) Am I able to have a life apart from taking care of my foster animals? Go out to dinner, a movie or go away on vacation.

I'm sure there are several more questions you could be asking, and answering, but those are some of the basics.

It's so easy to feel you can slip one more in, especially if you already have a bunch, but this can be stressful on the other animals in the house, especially cats, and can lead to spraying or marking behavior.

My advice is to sit down with a notepad and paper and write down the answers to the above questions. I think the answer to how many you successfully foster will become clear.

Once you have made that decision, then stick with it. I know that is going to be hard, but you are not helping the animals if you cannot take care of them properly. Try and enlist some others to help in fostering needy animals. Spread the load a bit.

How can I have fun when animals are suffering?

Member question:

I have tried to go out to movies and have fun because I know that I need to take care of myself, but I feel guilty like I should be doing more for the animals. I feel that the dog chained out in the cold doesn't get to have fun, or the stray cat, so when I am out having fun I feel incredible guilt. So, I end up just as miserable as if I had stayed home. What can I do to overcome these feelings?

Response from Faith Maloney:

Oh, do I know that feeling! I used to lie awake at nights when it was starting to get cold here and worry about all of the animals that were freezing and hungry. I don't think that feeling ever goes away completely, and I don't think it should either. It's part of what motivates us all to do what we can to help animals in need.

What I am talking about when I suggest taking some time out to go see a movie or read a good book, is to be able to use this time to restore yourself. Worrying about the animals who are in a bad way does nothing to help those animals. Worrying only hurts you.

I don't know if you are a believer in a higher power, but I find saying a prayer for the animals who are not in a nice warm home helps me. I also know that if I am going to be around day after day to actually help those animals, I need to be rested, calm, and full of positive energy.

So take the time to enjoy the movie - comedies are good, because laughter is great medicine. I'm not suggesting that you completely forget those that need us the most, but they are not going away during those two hours you are in the theater. Come out reinvigorated and renewed to fight another day for the animals.

How do I pull back when I am the leader?

Member question:

I started a rescue group about 3 years ago. We have grown by leaps and bounds and really are doing a wonderful job. I have a great group of volunteers (we are currently 100% volunteer). However, I am the leader. As the founder and president I am still looked to as the one with the final say on every matter. Even though I have delegated jobs and responsibilities and we have a great crew, the buck still stops here. And frankly, being the one to clean up the messes and deal with the bad situations is really, really starting to wear on me. I know that if I quit or fall apart our whole group will fall apart too. We are still so young as an organization but I need to pull back and soon.

How do I pull back without sending the rest of the organization into a panic?

Response from Faith Maloney:

It sounds like you have already begun the process of pulling away through the delegation of jobs and responsibilities.

Perhaps a way of taking this a stage further is to have a meeting with the group, and tell them that you need to take more time away. Ask for people to take on whatever jobs that will give you that freedom, and then just do it.

If I were you, I would really get away, not just stay home at the other end of the phone. Take a trip, have a change of scenery, and try to not think about the work. I know that's tough, but it will give the person who is taking on the leader role while you are away room to grow and develop his or her style.

When this happened to me, I had to sit on my hands and shut my mouth! I was so tempted to butt in at every opportunity, but it doesn't work well that way. True delegation is letting someone make their own mistakes and to learn from them.

Best of luck!

Handling euthanasia

Member question:

I met you at BF when I adopted a dog there, Archie, about a year ago!

I have so much admiration for all that you personally have done for the animals. I seem to be much more limited in the scope of what I can do, energy-wise.

I have worked as a vet tech for the last 7 years and euthanasia gets harder for me, not easier, as I had expected. I got out of emergency medicine because of all the neglect and death I saw there. I was going home every night crying.

I am in a supportive environment now, but still have trouble with the necessary euthanasias we perform. I try to separate my personal grief from the animal and client at hand, but sometimes I just can't. Any philosophical ideas that might help? Thanks so much.

Response from Faith Maloney:

I like to see euthanasia as a gift. It means "gentle death" as I'm sure you know. We use euthanasia here to end suffering, under the direction of our veterinarian, and I have never seen it used prematurely.

I have often felt a surge of energy as the spirit of the animal is released from pain and goes to join the Universe. I know we all have different beliefs, but I like to think that there is a better place that is free of pain and suffering and that this animal, be it a dog, a cat, a horse, or a bunny is in a place of light and joy. Feeling this helps me.

And thanks for providing such a wonderful home for Archie.

How do you care for your employees' emotional well-being?

Member question:

Employees are an integral part of a lot of shelters (volunteers are another, of course). How do you care for your employees? Their hearts as well as their minds?

Answer from Faith Maloney:

Thank you for your question. I agree. Employees are an integral part of your shelter, and there does need to be consideration for their overall well being.

One way which we have found be very effective in this respect is the bond that they share with the other staff. We have a variety of ages that work here, and people tend to gravitate to the group of people that share their interests outside of work.

The younger folks enjoy a lot of outdoor activities together, or even take trips down to Las Vegas for dancing. Some of the older folks also enjoy outdoor activities like hiking or exploring our area, or visiting each other in their homes or going to the movies. Here in Kanab we don't have a big selection. It's one movie a week shown for four days, one show a night. But even this small town quirkiness helps create bonds between the staff.

We celebrate people's birthdays in their own departments. Also we have a weekly fun staff meeting every Thursday for staff and visitors during our lunch hour. Michael Mountain holds this and we share successes of the week and uplifting adoption stories. We also hold a big Christmas party.

We print out a copy of the weekly on-line newsletter for staff that don't have access to computers to help them keep in touch with Best Friends programs, visitors and events.

We have found that not all staff take advantage of some of these ways to keep in touch, but we provide them anyway.

Most of our staff have animals at home, and often foster animals for the sanctuary, so they are never far away from the issues at hand. We have found that the reason people want to work here is because they love being around animals, so that part of the work is not that burdensome. Dealing with difficult people is much more likely to cause distress, and having good positive relationships with fellow staff seems to offset this quite a bit.

Comment from Joy Jett, Best Friends Staff (info@bestfriends.org):

The staff here are extremely supportive of each other! Although, as Faith said, the young folks often seek out each other's company in their off time, it's been my experience that there is no "ageism" here. I'm one of the "older folks," but just as likely to go to a cultural event with Faith one night and go out dancing with her daughter the next!

With typical humility, Faith has left herself out of this answer. From the first day I started working here, I have treasured our Director. Not only is Faith a wonderful boss, but she is also a caring friend, and is always ready to lend an ear and sage advice to a staff member who comes to her with concerns.

Response from Marion Hale, Forum Manager (marion@bestfriends.org)

One of the things that originally attracted me to Best Friends was the attitude of Kindness, and of Acceptance. The little quirks of the animals were accepted and so were those of the humans who wandered in - even me.

I was a volunteer for over six years before I became an employee two years ago. As a volunteer I always felt respected, appreciated, and trusted with a variety of tasks, and when my status changed, after three decades working for a middlin' large corporation, I was a little apprehensive about how things might change.

Silly, silly me. Nothing changed at all.

I must be the luckiest person on this planet with a job I love, one that I feel makes a difference, and to work for - and with - people who treat me like family; gently correcting when necessary, praising when deserved, and always - even from 300 miles away - letting me know that what I do is important, and that I'm important too.