I thought about many things when Charlotte came home with me. I thought about her butt baths, about her wobbly little gait; I considered her integration with my other cats and how her incontinence would affect the household.

I never thought about time.

On a slow day I work nine hours at my office; on a busy day it can be 12 – 14 hours. It has been busy for me pretty much since Labor Day.

I would come home, feed the cats, feed myself quickly and then go into the spare room to spend time with Charlotte – usually an hour or two in the evening with me drifting off to sleep even as she sat on my lap.

She wasn’t keen on my other kitties and though I had introductory sessions every day, inevitably she would hiss at the others then go hide in her room. She didn’t want to leave her environs if there were other cats about.

I worried about Charlotte constantly; she’s a resilient little girl as you know but I was concerned about the lack of interaction she had with others in my house. She loves people and is a happy cat over all. But gradually I realized I felt more than worry – I felt guilt. I felt bad because she was alone 20 hours out of the day; I felt bad that she didn’t get to interact with others and that she didn’t like my cats.

And then I asked myself if this is truly the best life she could have. The answer was “no.”

Bobbie came down to Las Vegas this weekend to visit me and Char and see how we were doing; I had decided the day before that it wasn’t in Charlotte’s best interests to stay with me. So after our visit, Bobbie took Charlotte back home to Best Friends.

First, I can tell you the love and attention Char gets from Bobbie and the Kitty Mo team is incomparable; you should have seen Char’s little face light up with glee when Bobbie walked into her room. (Bobbie is Easter Bunny, tooth fairy and Santa all wrapped up in one person to Charlotte).

I sniffled around the house this weekend, crying whenever I was reminded of Charlotte and the fact she was no longer with me. I feel like a failure (I know, you don’t have to tell me that I’m not). Everyone at Best Friends has assured me that this foster situation was to see if Charlotte could live in real home for the rest of her life. She CAN live in a house and she IS eminently adoptable. It didn’t work out with me because I couldn’t pay her the attention she needs (at least my other cats have each other and are very independent of me. Charlotte didn’t have that).

I wanted to help Charlotte, to bring her in to my family and prove that Special Needs kitties ARE adoptable. These cats deserve a forever home; they deserve lots of attention and love and good food and catnip and kitty massages every day. If you have the right situation I can’t think of a more rewarding feeling than to adopt a Special Needs kitty.

I’m rather aimless at the moment without Charlotte. I wanted to write this so those of you who have been following her can know why it didn’t work out. I believe Charlotte did have a good time in Las Vegas with me even though I refused to take her to a buffet or to a show – no Cirque, no Wayne Newton, nothing. It was a three week vacation for her and now she is back to being adored at the Kitty Motel. She has it pretty darn good I’d say!

Thank you to everyone who offered your support and even BIGGER thanks to those of you who love your animal companions.

I love Charlotte too. I’ll just love her from afar.

November 5, 2009 : 6:05 PM ET
posted by: babs1171

What a thoughtful and well written post. I could feel the agony over making the choice to return Ms. Charlotte.....that was true love....to do what was best for the animal, not the human! As animal lovers we sometimes have to make those tough decisions.....welcome home pretty Ms. Charlotte and thanks to Anne for giving her a Vegas vacation (I'd like one of those myself!)

November 5, 2009 : 11:38 AM ET
posted by: lld

How's my favorite calico doing this week? Just checking in to see if she is back to ruling the roost. Kisses to you sweet Charlotte!

November 3, 2009 : 12:23 PM ET
posted by: alex

Oh, Anne, I am sorry it did not work out, certainly a special needs critter can be a lot of work and worry and it takes much adjustment. Thank you for trying, it was a good learning experience for both you and Charlotte - on that note, Welcome Home Char!

November 1, 2009 : 6:50 PM ET
posted by: Lancecrossfire

Anne, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and thank you for considering Charlotte's needs and waht would be best for her. Not everyone would do that.

October 29, 2009 : 8:59 PM ET
posted by: wycheck fan

Hi Anne,

Thanks for the update and for doing what is best for Charlotte. I'm sure it was a very difficult decision, especially after getting attached, but that shows you are doing the right thing even though it is tough for you. I also had to find a new home for an adopted dog because he seemed to have fear aggression, and with my friends having small kids, I wasn't the person who could give him the best home and the training he needed. I felt really bad because I was not the kind to just "give a dog back" like that ... but later I realized it was the right decision. Maybe there's a different special needs cat that would work in your home. Sometimes animals just find *you* rather than you finding them.

Thanks for all your honest, amusing, and well-written updates about Miss Charlotte! I'll miss your writings! (I'm a writer myself ...). Take good care and let us know if you start your own pet blog!

October 29, 2009 : 7:55 PM ET
posted by: luvctas4

Annie, thank you for writing. It is quite evident that you love Charlotte and have her best interest in mind. I can't even imagine the heartbreak to have to give back a furry baby that you wanted things so badly to work out for. You'll always have those 3 weeks you got to have Charlotte in your home. And even though she is not there anymore, you know for certain that she is getting plenty of attention from her KM siblings and the wonderful caregivers there. Saying prayers that you'll soon be able to look back on the time you fostered Char and smile inside.

October 29, 2009 : 6:21 PM ET
posted by: mxipp

Hi Anne. I'm sorry things didn't work out "furrever" for you and Charlotte. But you gave her the experience of three weeks in a real home, and everything you learned about her during that time will help BF in finding the right home for this girl. And that's a very good thing!

October 29, 2009 : 5:59 PM ET
posted by: safjaa

Hi Anne: You did the most important thing -- focus on Charlotte's well-being. You kept her interests and opportunities for a healthy, happy environment foremost, and you gave her ongoing care, love and support.

Many of us who love and live with animals wish we have more whatever -- space, money, rooms, time -- so we could take care of more that need us. We do the best with can with the practical resources and limits that we have, and the love that is unlimited.

Thank you for giving so much to Charlotte, both in your home and with your interactions with Best Friends for her care. Your kitties are very lucky to have you for their mom!

Sherry

October 29, 2009 : 5:11 PM ET
posted by: lovefelines2003

Anne, As a fellow animal companion mom, I can assure as others already have, that you did a wonderful thing by fostering Charlotte - you gave her all you could, and to repeat, you did help identify that Charlotte perhaps needs a home without other kitties. Never feel guilty for showering this special kitty with love. You are both the richer for it, and as much as you miss her, you did the unselfish and heroic thing by allowing her to go back to the sanctuary where she will be pampered until she finds a new home. I met Charlotte a month ago, and she is beyond special, but as you said, does require a lot of time. For those of us who have to work full time or more, it can be difficult finding time for all we have to do. Bless you and thank you for all you did for Charlotte! You too, are very special!

October 29, 2009 : 5:09 PM ET
posted by: MamaAussie

Anne, making the decision to let Charlotte go back to Best Friends I'm sure was harder than making the decision to have her come live with you. It truly shows how big your heart is and how much you love Charlotte to admit that your home was not the best one for her. What a sacrifce you made so that she can be her happiest. I am in awe of you and so impressed by your bravery!!

Don't beat yourself up. Know that Charlotte enjoyed her LV vacation (even without Wayne or the buffet) and that when the time is right for you and your family, another fur baby who needs a loving home will come into your life.

Jennifer

October 29, 2009 : 4:19 PM ET
posted by: meowlam

Anne, you did a lot of wonderful things by fostering Char. You helped BF identify that she probably needs to be an only cat.

I'm familiar with the heartbreak of having to return a pet because it wasn't the right fit. It'll get easier, but probably doesn't feel like it right now. I admire you for taking the chance and enduring the heartbreak.

Sending you (((((((hugs))))))) from a fellow pet lover to another.

Lorrian in CA

October 29, 2009 : 3:36 PM ET
posted by: lld

Anne, though I am very sorry it did not work out with you and Charlotte, you did do the right thing in figuring that out and ultimately doing what is right for Charlotte. She is a very special little girl and I am sure someone out there will have the perfect home for her. Thank you for at least giving it a chance, that is SO much more than what others would do.

Miss Charlotte - welcome back! I am so looking forward to seeing your pretty face grace our GA pages! HUGE hugs and kisses to you little one!